The Psychology of a Hater: A True Social Media Story

Written By: Kristen MacKenzie

Copyright: 2022

What is the psychology of a hater? According to the Huffington Post: The psychology of a hater is someone imposing their self-hate onto others. It’s not as much about you, as it is about them. According to Psychology Today: a phenomenon known as projection, (coined by Austrian neurologist Sigmund Freud) describes a tendency to reject what we don’t like about ourselves with a desire to fill the void due to a lack of self-compassion. Demonstrating some people’s feelings of inadequacy. Having walked away from Facebook & those I assumed were my “friends” in 2016, the last thing I wanted was to find myself once again involved with noxious characters. Sadly, that is what I encountered in mid 2021. Someone who I believed was a genuine fan of the same Finnish rock band, I also enjoy musically. Unfortunately discovering instead, a mentally unbalanced individual, obsessed with rock stars, sex, drugs & rock n’ roll and now terrifyingly; someone who is also obsessed with me! In my post from December 2021, I made reference to this person under the pop culture intimation “Regina George” (a character played by Canadian actress Rachel McAdams in the 2004 movie “Mean Girls”). I originally bumped into this individual, after coming across a tweet liked by the band’s official Twitter page. Comparing the length of the frontman’s hair to those of Tribal First Nations warriors, of Canadian & American indigenous cultures. A post at the time that reminded me of American actor Jason Momoa’s character: Khal Drogo on HBO’s Game of Thrones. Believing this person was nothing more than an easily dismissable music fan, she & I connected online after I commented on my frustrations with what would become my post about Toxic Fandoms. What initially began as cordial, swiftly acidulated during a private conversation that arose as a dialogue attempting to figure out who may be responsible for the series of blocks on Instagram by a “fan page” (experienced by some including myself) promoting another Finnish rock band (previously mentioned), abruptly veered into unpleasant territory when discussions deviated to the frontman of the aforementioned rock band.

{Out of respect for the artist’s privacy, I will not be mentioning either his name or the band he is a part of.}

During the private exchange with this now former online-only acquaintance, I became quickly affronted when the person I conversed with, made a series of out of line assertions. One suggesting said frontman & his former girlfriend of many years, had an “open relationship”.

{As neither of us personally or privately know or have ANY first hand intimate knowledge, as to the nature or details of the relationship between the frontman & his former flame, it would be in poor taste (egregious even) to make any such speculations legitimate. Therefore making any conjectures, nothing more than gossip and/or hearsay. And thus should be regarded as wholly unfounded. Out of respect for both the frontman & his ex, I will not give credence to any such ideas, nor make any unprovable comments of my own, as any relationship between them now and in the past is their own business!}

The other remark made by this former online-only acquaintance during our exchange, was boasting over “having the opportunity to sleep with a number of musicians / rock stars”. Despite a myriad of stories about musicians who have taken any female “fans” to their beds after a gig, along with any unsubstantiated proclivities someone may / may not have, for appearances sake; obsession with the many myths regarding “Sex, Drugs & Rock N’ Roll” seems more a fascination with those desperate to “add another notch to their belt or bedpost”. This deterioration between 2 fans of the same band, occurred over a disagreement over possible “experiences” that may/may not have been the same as others who attended the event or who were in the same room during supposed timing of the happenings that transpired. Each individual exposure to goings on, may differ. To further explain, in March 2020, Kerrang Magazine published an article to their official website entitled “11 Shock Rockers Who Are Surprisingly Wholesome in Real Life”. The article debunks the misconception involving rock star debauchery. Further elaborating; in 2014 ThFix.com investigated the subject of “Sex, Drugs & Rock N’ Roll”. The exposition would go on to state:

In fact, rock has changed dramatically over the decades. Sex, drugs and rock n roll, once a trinity held as gospel in the genre, has proven to be a recipe reserved for outfits looking to fail. But what profit is there in the image of clean-cut rock stars from healthy homes? Little. And so, the myth prevails: Rock stars are crazy dudes who snort blow before shows on route to a lifelong diet of brown syringes and unadulterated sex with strippers and supermodels.

In truth, few lifelong rockers who have had any sort of longevity and who have made a lasting impact on the genre are still using drugs or alcohol. Sure, many and most have crawled through Shawshank Redemption-like football fields of sludge to come out clean on the other side of addiction. Yet, without exception, every rock band and artist canonised in the collective consciousness of fans worldwide have taken one of two routes to success: sobriety or death.

Adding:

And so, it seems, rockers have their pick of two paths: success and sobriety or drugs and death. The high road or the back alley. Rockers, though genuine in the realm of trade and no doubt opportunity, are no exception to the rule that regulates all addicts – get clean or face a sad fate. Death, jails and institutions, they say, are where addicts spend their days if they don’t get clean. While some rock stars do go to jail or wind up in institutions ranging from Betty Ford to Shutter Island, most that don’t kick the habit end up pushing daisies. Sad, sure. But true.

The lie machine will continue to sell the dream of sex, drugs and rock n roll. But, in truth, that lie died sometime in the mid-90s when the final nail went in the coffin of grunge rock with Kurt Cobain’s suicide. Black Sabbath lived it, Motley Crue lived it, Nirvana lived it. The rest that have claimed it since are faking the funk, bouncing back and forth between bad and ballad in a sad balancing act of chaos and conformity.

Since August 2021, my wannabe archnemesis (as I call her) has been intent on destroying my name, along with any future I may have online. Refusing to cease her vindictive crusade of malignant falsehoods against me. As previously mentioned in 2 prior posts: Toxic Fandoms & Goodbye 2021, this social media misanthrope has incessantly slandered my name to anyone in a duplicitous bid for attention. Screen grabbing my tweets in furthering her campaign of antagonism. It is no longer enough for her to be obsessed with celebrities & other rock stars, posing as a “devoted fan”. My erstwhile online-only acquaintance has now veered her unhealthy fixation also onto me. Over the course of my existence on social media, I have encountered numerous malcontents. Those with nothing better to do than make ignorant statements, in reply to any tweets I post. In the world of social media, there is no shortage of those whose whole life appears to revolve around feeding an addiction to negative drama. Anyone familiar with the assortment of drama channels on YouTube already knows this. Whether on Twitter, Instagram or YouTube, you will find no deficiency of vultures. Including the multitude of trolls who also exist. Even after reporting this intruder for her recurring harassment, despite having her muted & blocked, she persisted in violating Twitter’s platform rules. The last thing I wanted in 2022 was to give someone with a childish mentality any further attention, as it only invites further adolescent behaviour. I also wanted to avoid speaking her name publicly, as I did not want to find myself on the other end of a libel lawsuit. However, her unwavering conduct displays a corrosive neurosis. Even after severing ties with her online, once revealing her true colors. Further aggressions towards me surfaced after attempting to defend someone I felt unjustly targeted by my former online-only acquaintance.

For anyone unfamiliar with Eugenia Cooney, Eugenia is a 27 year old controversial figure in the YouTube community. Known more for how dangerously thin she is and publicly recognized for suffering from a crippling eating disorder. In August ‘21, after removing any involvement with this former online-only acquaintance, I stumbled onto a Quote Retweet attacking Eugenia for “promoting” an anorexic lifestyle to her 2.14 million YouTube followers.



In the U.S. alone, approximately 24 million people suffer from an eating disorder. Among the 3 most common of the eating disorders, is anorexia. With studies suggesting about 1% of adolescent females in the U.S. being affected by anorexia. According to the U.S. National Institute of Mental Health, people with eating disorders are at high risk for suicide and other medical complications. So for someone across the world to attack an appearingly sweet girl who privately struggles to maintain her personal livelihood while publicly battling a crippling health problem is repulsive!




Endeavouring to defend Eugenia, in response I posted a link from YouTuber Jaclyn Glenn (now Jaclyn Frank) speaking about Eugenia. I felt it was unfair to condemn someone struggling with a serious life and medical issues.

In December 2018, a YouTube channel called The Strange List published a video entitled “20 YouTubers Who Committed Suicide”. This video helped explain that according to The WHO (World Health Organisation) approximately 1 Million people commit suicide each year. It is deeply important that we don’t equate easily being triggered by something we see or witness on the internet due to our own biases, with those who struggle with severe mental and emotional issues.

If you or someone you know is considering or have thoughts of suicide and you live in the United States or Canada, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 or Crisis Services Canada: 1-833-456-4566 If you live anywhere else, contact your local or national mental health or suicide prevention lifeline. You are not alone!

Of course, attacks like these on other individuals besides those against me, are nothing new. For example, attacking a model who appeared in the 2019 music video “Cheyenna” for the Finnish goth n’ roll band The 69 Eyes.

Or more recently, unfairly trashing Canadian YouTuber & comedian Nicole Arbour after being triggered by a post making the same arguments I made in my December blog on toxic fandoms.

However, this online prowler’s biggest pastime not only appears to be fixating over rock stars & behaving like a certified groupie, but also jealousy obsessing over me! Someone with a truly unhealthy infatuation, making up stories to placate herself as the victim! Meanwhile ceaselessly violating Twitter harassment rules with impunity, calling me out on by name with her unabated trolling!

(screen grabs in no particular order)

Anyone who follows me online, or knows me personally knows I have only 1 Twitter account. I have had other accounts in the past, however my only active twitter account is @thekmackenzie1. All other personal profiles are linked in the descriptions on all my other accounts (Instagram, Spotify & Pinterest). To claim I am “opening another account” to “stalk” her, is nothing more than fabrication. Staggeringly this war between my former online-only acquaintance & I began over an unrelated comment:

“Too many women want to be models, not enough want to be role models”.

It was in posting that comment to my own Twitter page, when this all initially started.


Turning a popular thought found on Google into a narcissistic tirade, my former online-only acquaintance decided to draw her own conclusions. Believing this comment was somehow related to her. As you can see, this former online-only association has 2 twitter accounts. Both of which have repeatedly disparaged my name, striving to publicly intimidate me. I’ve decided to go on the record with all of this, to clear the air once and for all (with provided evidence) in the hopes someone from Twitter or it’s monitors will actually step up and physically remove this person from their platform for their relentless menacing. For all her deceptions on the other hand, my former online-only acquaintance has proven 1 thing: her incapability of taking responsibility for her own decorum. Passing fault onto anyone else she feuds with! Even after I decided to end this chapter, this person still seems intent on deceiving herself & some of those who follow her online. To quote Jyrki 69 of the Finnish band, The 69 Eyes:

“As we are living in these social media days, it seems like the world is full of haters and controversy. Very polarised world about everything. But the only way to handle these things is to really face your haters, and you know; face your life in general. It’s better to live fast, live full and how I would say, have two horns up.”

As I previously stated in my Toxic Fandom post from December: 

“fan bases should leave a sense of community. Where people share their love of music for a band, group or artist & experiences of concerts and meet & greets. Not where people are turned away at the door for whatever reason. That's not a community. Take it from someone who knows!” 

I also reminded readers: 

“No one has the monopoly on what it means to be a fan. Being a fan should be for all the right reasons. Not all the wrong ones!!! Being a fan is not a competition!!!” 

A message which my online stalker / former online-only acquaintance seems to have either forgotten or missed the point on. No one also gets to bully someone online and tell them, they’re NOT ALLOWED to be part of a fan base. That’s not up to them! To say otherwise behaves as if they speak for a band or all fans in general. When they physically have zero contact with those persons except for the fan meet & greets they attend! If my transgressor has forgotten, adults can make their own decisions. Obviously, if this interloper is preoccupied with spending her time not actually working at a job she claims to have, but surfing the internet obsessively trying to tear someone from the other side of the world down, it means someone like me has been living rent-free in her mind for some time. To go by the “logic” of my former online-only acquaintance that one cannot always believe what a person sees or reads on the internet, this former association would ultimately have to justify ALL of her attacks against me. Which would reveal her as nothing more than a pretentious, self-serving & jealous malcontent, with absolutely no valid reason. Lastly, I want to make clear this will be the FIRST, LAST and ONLY time I will be publicly discussing this. I will no longer be spending the remainder of my time online, feuding with this former acquaintance solely because my stalker is thirsty for attention. As we’ve seen with recent events involving QAnon and those protesting COVID mandates, social media is a breeding ground for poisonous rhetoric and individuals alike. The only thing I wish to do is urge my Twitter stalker to have a bright & happy future and personally request she seek serious psychological help. For me on the other hand, I will be spending the remainder of ‘22 and the years ahead, focused on what is important to me: my life, my job, my finances, my health and my goals.

MLA’s, Links & Sources:

(Final Note: All Tweets screen grabbed, have been archived & backed up on hard drive, as evidence & proof of continued harassment)

Yusef, Malik “The Psychology of a Hater” huffpost.com July 6, 2012 WEB. July 16, 2022 < https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-psychology-of-a-hater_b_1491354 >

Abrams, Allison “The Psychology of Hate” psychologytoday.com March 9, 2017 WEB. July 16, 2022 < https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/nurturing-self-compassion/201703/the-psychology-hate >

MacKenzie, Kristen “Leaving Facebook & The Negative Impacts of Social Media” thekmackenzieofficial.blogspot.com January 31, 2021 WEB. January 17, 2022 < https://thekmackenzieofficial.blogspot.com/2021/01/leaving-facebook-negative-impacts-of.html >

MacKenzie, Kristen “Toxic Fandoms: Social Media and Why It’s Difficult To Be A Fan Today” thekmackenzieofficial.blogspot.com December 1, 2021 WEB January 16, 2022 < https://thekmackenzieofficial.blogspot.com/2021/12/toxic-fandoms-social-media-and-why-its.html

Fandom.com, “Khal Drogo” Game of Thrones Wikia WEB. January 21, 2022 < https://gameofthrones.fandom.com/wiki/Drogo >

Krovatin, Chris. “11 Shock Rockers Who are Surprisingly Wholesome in Real Life”. Kerrang Magazine. March 15, 2020 WEB. October 12, 2021 < https://www.kerrang.com/features/11-shock-rockers-who-are-surprisingly-wholesome-in-real-life/ >

Remi, Roy L. “A Look at the Myth of Sex, Drugs and Rock N’ Roll” TheFix.com June 18, 2014 WEB. Jan. 21, 2022 < https://www.thefix.com/content/look-myth-sex-drugs-and-rock-n-roll >

MacKenzie, Kristen “Goodbye 2021” thekmackenzieofficial.blogspot.com January 1, 2022 WEB. January 16, 2022 < https://thekmackenzieofficial.blogspot.com/2022/01/goodbye-2021.html >

Twitter, “The Twitter Rules” help.twitter.com WEB. Jan. 16, 2022 < https://help.twitter.com/en/rules-and-policies/twitter-rules >

Anorexia Facts, Eatingdisorders.com WEB. Jan. 22, 2022 < https://eatingdisorders.com/articles/anorexia/anorexia-facts >

U.S. Department of Health & Human Services “Eating Disorders: About More Than Food” The National Institute of Mental Health 2021 WEB. Jan. 30, 2022 < https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/eating-disorders >

Glenn, Jaclyn “The Return of Eugenia Cooney - The Real Truth (Full Story)” YouTube.com July 19, 2019 WEB. January 16, 2022 < https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0a43ImW_OK0 >

YouTube “20 YouTubers Who Committed Suicide” The Strange List December 11, 2018 WEB. Jan. 30, 2022 < https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XPMR0AZPiA >

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (United States): https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Crisis Services Canada: https://www.crisisservicescanada.ca/en/

The 69 Eyes “Cheyenna” YouTube.com July 26, 2019 WEB. January 16, 2022 < https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iseB01_Cllk >

YouTube “Nicole Arbour” YouTube.com WEB. Jan. 22, 2022 < https://www.youtube.com/c/nicolearbour >

Nuclear Blast Records "The 69 Eyes - Behind The Lyrics (Official Trailer)" YouTube.com September 25, 2019 WEB. Jan. 17, 2022 < https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vg35g81MdZw >